You’re a girl in her late teens and fresh out of high school. You have a strong sense of curiosity, an unwavering sense of justice, and a keen nose for clues, but god dammit you’re just too damn foxy to join the police or FBI! Luckily, you can play the guitar, you have an idiot friend who’s a half-decent drummer, and that one black friend you tell other people you have plays a mean tambourine. That’s all you need to start an all-girl rock band, and god knows teenage rock bands are practically professional private detectives in their own right. Just ask the Jonas Brothers.

Crime Fighters?

Grand Funk Vagina

Josie, Melody, and Valerie are The Pussycats, the world’s hottest female rock band with clean-cut lyrics that somehow distract from their sexually implicit name. You know, like starting a Christian rock band named The Snatch or Grand Funk Vagina. Together, they tour the country whilst coincidentally crossing paths with some of the world’s most dangerous criminals. These weren’t Scooby Doo’s badly disguised jewel thieves who were simply trying to scare patrons away from a museum or ski resort. The Pussycats usually went up against mad scientists bent on world domination.

The Pussycats weren’t alone, of course. They were always accompanied by Alexander, Alexandra, Alan, and Sebastian. Alexander was their manager, and aside from looking like the missing link between Shaggy Rogers and Velma Dinkley, he also shared Shaggy’s cowardly personality and original voice actor (Casey Kasem). Alexandra was Alexander’s sister, and a total bitch. When Alexandra wasn’t belittling Melody’s intelligence (which was just cruel, as Melody was functionally retarded), she was trying to steal Josie’s boyfriend Alan. Alan was more or less the band’s roadie or groupie, and by all accounts looked like Fred Jones on steroids. Lastly, there was the black and white cat Sebastian, who functioned as the band’s mascot and Alexandra’s sidekick. He was quite possibly the least interesting animal to ever be animated into a Hanna-Barbera show.

Josie and the Pussycats really is one of the classics. It was the second cartoon Hanna-Barbera put out about mystery solving teens, and the first to feature a mystery solving rock band (yes, there were several others). It was fun, silly, and practically a trend setter. If you’re feeling nostalgic or want to hear a late 60’s pop song, you can easily find the entire series on DVD.

Just avoid the 2001 live action movie and Pussycats in Outer Space. We– we don’t talk about them.