In 2008, Marvel Comics launched Captain Britain & MI-13, a comic about the UK’s premier superhero and a team of superpowered secret agents. Since its opening story arc, the book has had fairly low sales despite its glowing reviews. These aren’t exactly the most well known superheroes around, so a little word of mouth seems to be needed. Sit back children, and I shall tell you the gospel of what is currently one of Marvel’s best written books.

Yes, I know. If I’m not careful, I’ll turn into a one-man rip-off of Cracked. I’ll try not to make a habit of it.

Unless they’re looking for a new contributor.

(Call me)

5. CAPTAIN BRITAIN

I know what some of you are thinking, and no, Captain Britain is not a British parallel of Captain America. For one, Captain America can’t fly or rip robots apart with his bare hands. Captain Britain is more like an English version of Superman, only without the shittily crafted secret identity or borderline suicidal girlfriend. He’s also powered by magic, and is the most powerful thing in the UK. If it’s a tale of tragic romance you want, Captain Britain has the subplot you’re looking for. A few years back, his wife Meggan went missing, and I have a strong feeling he’s one phone call away from tearing through the bowels of Hell like a bean & cheese burrito to get her back. He’s Captain Britain, and he can do anything!

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4. BLADE

Yes, the same Blade made famous by Wesley Snipes. Yes, the same Blade who bitch-slaps vampires for breakfast. It turns out that behind that American accent beats the heart of an English-born half-vampire. This isn’t the pussy Blade of Blade Trinity or Blade: The Series. This is the badass who carries a wooden stake and two hundred varieties of knives in his left front pocket. He even carries a papier-mache sword made from the pages of spell books, just so he can stab the shit out of incorporeal Dukes of Hell. He jumps out of helicopters without a parachute, and he has the pleasure of laying down with his fellow vampiric teammate Lady Jacqueline.

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3. PETE WISDOM

Combine Michael Caine, Christian Bale, Hugh Laurie from House, Clive Owen and both the Sean Connery & Daniel Craig versions of James Bond into a single man. Now give him the mutant power to shoot burning hot knives out of his fingers. That’s Pete Wisdom, the baddest mother fucker to ever save the world in a three piece suit and sunglasses. When he wakes up in the morning, he drinks a freshly squeezed cup of awesome. He’s smooth, tough, and answers to no one– mainly because he’s the man in charge.

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2. POSITIVE PORTRAYAL OF MUSLIM SUPERHEROES

Meet Dr. Faiza Hussain, the English-born daughter of Pakistani parents. When the Skrulls invaded the Earth, Faiza was on the scene as a medic when she was suddenly shot by an alien energy weapon. Faiza, however, was just too damn cool to be incinerated, and instead gained superpowers that allow her to physically heal her patients’ wounds. In the creation of the character, writer Paul Cornell actually consulted a panel of four Muslim women to make sure she was portrayed respectably. She wears traditional hijab, and has yet to appear in a skin-tight leotard with her tits popping out. She’s also been chosen as the new worthy wielder of the mystic sword excalibur, and has enough character flaws to keep her from falling into Mary Sue territory.

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1. IT DOESN’T SUCK
I know! I was shocked, too! We all avoided New Excalibur like it was the black death, but this book has little or nothing to do with that crap. Yes, Captain Britain and Pete Wisdom were in New Excalibur, but now they’re written by Paul Cornell, who also gave us 2007’s Marvel MAX Wisdom miniseries. The reviews have been positive across the board, and this is probably one of the few Marvel titles to consistently come out on time. If you’re tired of superheroes fighting each other all of the time, then you’ll be glad to hear that this book is packed with classic superhero action, monster fighting, solid characterization, and no overdone cliched grey-area villains who are only trying to destroy the world because their elderly grandmothers have the ass cancer.

If that’s not good enough for you, then I’ve got one bonus reason for you:

DR. DOOM AND DRACULA ON THE MOON

That is all.