Welcome to This Week In Comics, my review of whichever comics I’ve bought for the week. All reviews are SPOILER heavy, so read at your own risk.

Let’s start this week off with a bang…

X-FACTOR #39
Writer: Peter David
Penciler: Valentine De Landro
Publisher: Marvel

In this issue’s recap/credits page, writer Peter David issues a “personal plea” to all readers. He urges us to fight all temptation with regards to spoilers. Don’t give up any spoilers. “Speak in broad strokes.” He says not to even use spoiler warnings.

No dice, David. I’m telling everyone. To be fair, I’ll black out this review. Anyone who wishes to read it can highlight it with their mouse.

For those of you just joining us, let’s recap: With the X-Men now in the San Francisco Bay, X-Factor Investigations found themselves the target for every two-bit anti-mutant group in New York. Not wanting to join Cyclops’ herd, X-Factor spirited themselves away to Detroit, where they are working as normal private investigators. Secretly, team leader Jamie “Multiple Man” Madrox has been working with government agent Val Cooper, and passing off her assignments as regular gigs. A few months later, Darwin and Longshot joined the team. But none of that is important. Approximately nine months ago, Jamie got Siryn very very pregnant. When we last left off, Siryn entered labor.

This issue begins with Darwin, who hasn’t seen his father in years. Darwin recently found out that his dear old dad sold him to some mad scientists for a little DNA experiment (causing Daddy Dearest to get injured and hospitalized during the kidnapping). X-Factor helped Darwin escape, and Darwin is pretty much ready to forgive… and forget his dad ever existed.

Meanwhile, in the same hospital, Jamie is sitting by Siryn’s side while she tries her damnedest not to let out a sonic scream during labor. She fails, and everyone in the hospital hears her, including the rest of X-Factor in the lobby. The doctor comes in, and decides to drug the hell out of Siryn, and give her a cesarean. One spank on the ass later, and the beautiful Sean Madrox is born! Scared that the government might swing by and snatch their child, Jamie follows the baby to the nursery to keep an eye on him. Jamie has a brief conversation with Val Cooper, who offers to relocate Siryn and Sean to a safe place, not snatch him. Later on, we see Siryn holding her son. She asks Jamie to hold him, who’s afraid he’s going to drop him. Not going to be an issue.

As soon as Jamie held his son, their bodies began to merge together. Jamie unintentionally absorbed his son as if he were one of his duplicates. And he can’t un-absorb him.

Needless to say, Siryn was pissed. She pounced on Jamie, and tried to beat the living crap out of him until he gave her back their son. She popped her stitches, and had to be sedated by a doctor. Jamie found himself crying in a closet, unable to cope with what he’d done. Strong Guy came for him, and brought him back to Siryn. When Jamie tried to hold Siryn’s hand, she broke one of his fingers. The issue ends with Siryn’s last line: “Next time I see you… it’ll be your neck.”

This issue was a definite shocker. I didn’t see any of it coming. Peter David promised that this and the next two issues would be the definite must-reads, and I can see why. It looks like a whole new status quo is being established for this title, and I wouldn’t be surprised if things only got worse for Jamie Madrox.

Valentine De Landro delivers some of the best art this title has seen in a long time. His pencils are clear, but also capture a bit of this title’s old noir feeling. De Landro also renders quite possibly the best Darwin I’ve seen since the character’s introduction in 2006. Most artists have a habit of making Darwin look like a Roswell Grey, but De Landro gives us what I can only describe as a bald albino Darwin, which looks a hell of a lot more human. Colorist Jeremy Cox gets bonus points for giving Monet St. Croix a darker skin tone than Siryn (an awkward mistake he’s made in the past, as Monet is of African descent and Siryn is practically ginger), but loses points for making her eyes blue instead of their usual brown.

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ANGEL: AFTER THE FALL #16
Writer: Brian Lynch (plotted by Joss Whedon)
Penciler: Franco Urru
Publisher: IDW

The recap: Following the cliffhanger at the end of season 5 of the television series, this comic has followed Angel’s mission to reassemble his team after all of Los Angeles was transported to Hell by Wolfram & Hart. Recently, Illyria (who still inhabits the body of Fred) has found herself incapable of reconciling her own personality with the memories and personality she inherited from Fred, and has transformed into her true “big blue monster of death” form in an attempt to destroy the world. Meanwhile, Wesley is a ghost, Gunn is a vampire whose dialogue hasn’t made any sense throughout this entire comic, and Angel has seen a vision of the future in which he somehow works with Wolfram & Hart in bringing about a different end of the world in which Angel has slaughtered countless humans. With that, Wolfram & Hart is determined to keep Angel alive at all costs, even though they are more than willing to kill and torture his family and friends. Oh, and the previous issue ended with Angel’s son, Connor, dead.

This issue begins with Angel holding Connor’s body, as a crowd of bystanding humans and demons watch silently. The disembodied voice of Wolfram & Hart then tells Angel that he’s free to go back to his hotel base, where they will ship “the carcass” of “the offspring” as soon as possible (they’re so sensitive, those demonic lawyers). When Angel decides to just lash out and kill as many demons as possible, Wolfram & Hart tells him to go ahead, as they’ll simply create more minions to replace the slain ones. Wesley’s ghost asks to make sure the demons won’t harm Angel, and Wolfram & Hart assures him that if anything should happen to Angel, they’ll simply pluck a better version of him out of his personal timeline. That’s when Angel gets an idea. Angel grabs a sword, and attempts to coax the psychotic vampire-Gunn into killing him. When Wolfram & Hart’s demonic army try to interfere, Spike and the crew hold them back until Gunn succeeds, and Angel dies.

Then Wolfram & Hart does exactly what they said they would do if Angel died: they find a better Angel from a previous point in the timeline. Specifically, they physically reset the timeline back to that cliffhanger fight at the end of season 5, with Angel’s crew fighting an army of demons in an alley. Angel is alive undead again, Illyria once again looks like a blue Fred, Angel’s pet dragon (named after Cordelia) is alive, and Gunn is still a human under attack by a gang of vampires in a dark alley. Angel breaks up the fight before Gunn can be either sired or killed, and rushes him off to the hospital.

One thing that is very clear is that Angel, Spike, Gunn, and Illyria remember their time in hell. However, upon checking Gunn into the hospital, Angel discovers that everyone else in Los Angeles remembers their time in hell as well. Also, they remember Angel facing demons to defend them for months on end. The secret’s out, and Angel has just gone from a lowly private investigator and urban legend into a full-blown legend. Of course, this issue wouldn’t be complete without revealing that, with time reversed, Connor is once again alive.

In a way, this is the penultimate issue of Angel: After the Fall. Starting with #18, the title will change to Angel: Aftermath. I wasn’t quite sure what other ground they could cover with this book upon leaving Hell, but it looks like a whole new can of worms have been opened this month. Aside from the continuous fact that Gunn’s dialogue never makes any sense, this was a pretty solid issue for Lynch. The story was easy to follow (for once), and the characters spoke like real people. Urru, however, has once again delivered a set of underwhelming pencils. His characters pretty much never resemble the actors they’re based on, the eyes are inexpressive 70% of the time, and the faces are somewhat flat. That’s not to say his art is terrible, but I’m definitely not a fan.

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ASTONISHING X-MEN #28
Writer: Warren Ellis
Penciler: Simone Bianchi
Publisher: Marvel

When we last left our heroes, they were investigating a mysterious man known as Subject X, who used a kind of fire power to kill a man in San Francisco before running away to Asia. When the X-Men followed, he killed himself and left behind a strange electronic device that S.W.O.R.D’s director Abigail Brand (who is also Beast’s bedroom partner) identified as a ghost box. A ghost box is apparently a gateway between parallel universes. As we learned in the Ghost Boxes miniseries, Subject X’s goal was to scope out the X-Men’s universe, and report back to his superiors so they could begin annexation. The X-Men decided to continue their investigation by heading to a radar blackspot in China, which led to an uninhabited hidden city known as Tian.

Emma Frost and Storm begin to make their way down stairs, where they discuss the theory that half of the city may have fallen apart because it might have been held up by the willpower of a mutant or several mutants who lost their powers. Emma suddenly detects the somewhat shielded mind of someone trying to hide himself, and telepathically warns Cyclops. Cyclops sends Wolverine and Armor out to look for any signs of life, while he and Beast check the city’s computers. Beast mentions to Cyclops that he and Forge discussed parallel worlds before, as Forge had been searching across different universes to see how many people lost their powers on M-Day. Turns out it’s a lot. Before something large and invisible can attack them, Cyclops and Beast feel its presence, and face it head on, knocking it the hell out.

Meanwhile, as Emma and Storm head further down stairs, they begin to feel their powers weakening. Storm assures Emma that if their powers become inhibited completely while in the city, she’ll have no problem coping without them. After all, anyone who remembers the crazy leather-clad mohawk Storm from the 1980s knows that she spent practically that entire time leading the X-Men without her powers. Storm tells Emma this, and mentions that her powers were taken back then when she was shot by a device made by Forge. When Emma and Storm’s powers completely fade out in a dark hallway of the city, a large beastie emerges from the shadows and attacks. Storm takes out her knife, and dispatches it.

Around this same time, Wolverine and Armor are attacked by a mysterious man who shoots lasers from his fingers. The lasers are partially capable of piercing Armor’s psionic neon noodle armor, causing her shoulder and foot to be run through. Wolverine then stabs the man in the chest, causing him to slowly bleed out. Possible at the same time, all three dispatches attacks relay the same message to the X-Men duos that defeated them: they attacked because they mentioned the name Forge.

Ellis appears to be doing what he does best, and that’s delivering a science fiction and mystery story. However, this story is rather decompressed, and it’s still not quite clear what the X-Men are up against. The pieces will probably all come together toward the end of this story, which means there’s probably a good chance this will read better as an all-in-one graphic novel months from now, rather than as month-to-month issues.

Simone Bianchi… bless Simone Bianchi. He’s a talented artist. He’s clearly capable of so much. However, I’d dare say his problem is that he tries too hard. His backgrounds are highly detailed and textured, and likely take forever to both pencil and ink. He goes out of his way to draw nearly every strand of hair on each character’s heads (and Beast’s entire body), which (when combined with the wrinkles and seams of everyone’s costumes) causes the character designs to appear too busy. Colorist Simone Peruzzi is going for a kind of noir look, but the dark colors combined with highly rendered shadows result in pages of dull scenery where the characters stand out from the background very little. This art style would be great for a comic book cover (in fact, the covers to this book are usually spectacular) or a typically/intentionally dark comic like Grant Morrison’s recent Shining Knight miniseries, but it doesn’t really work for something as bright and vibrant as the X-Men. Also, I don’t like the way he draws Storm’s face half the time, the odd emphasis he puts on Cyclops’ lips being so shiny, or the strange “model” poses he occasionally puts people in.

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X-MEN: KINGBREAKER #2 OF 4
Writer: Christ Yost
Penciler: Dustin Weaver
Publisher: Marvel

Ah, Vulcan. Gabriel Summers, the long lost brother of Cyclops and Havok. Prematurely ripped from the womb by the Shi’ar, artificially grown to adolescence and sold into slavery until he found his way to Earth, joined the X-Men for about a week, thrown into hibernation for nearly ten years, presumed dead, and had all memory of his existence removed from the world by Professor X. He woke up, flew off into space, dethroned Shi’ar Empress Lilandra, married Lilandra’s sister Deathbird, and assumed the title of Emperor because he was technically “born” within the confines of the Shi’ar palace, and thus considered part of the royal family.

Did I miss anything?

Oh, and upon taking the Shi’ar throne, Vulcan killed his father Christopher Summers, captured the Starjammers, and tortured Havok & Polaris. Lilandra is currently on the lamb with demi-phoenixes Rachel Summers and Korvus in tow.

Right, so now that Vulcan has taken over the Shi’ar Empire, he’s making conquest his top priority. He has his Imperial Guard (who should be by his side) on the front lines of every planet he’s taking over, and the few troops he left within the empire aren’t powerful enough to capture Lilandra’s rebel group. With all the foresight of a small child in a man’s body, Vulcan decides to recruit the most dangerous criminals from the empire’s most secured prisons to hunt them down. Yeah, that will end well.

In another part of the empire, Lilandra sneaks into the home of Gladiator from the Imperial Guard, and with all the melodrama of a soap opera couple (I can only assume they had a sexual relationship in the past, which brings Lilandra’s fidelity into question because she was still married to Professor X until a week ago), asks him to help her by telling her where Havok and the Starjammers are being held. He refuses, but that’s okay. Rachel was telepathically making herself appear invisible the whole time, and she pulled that information from Gladiator’s mind as soon as Lilandra asked the question. Rachel then spawns a blue Phoenix aura, grabs Lilandra, and flies the hell out of there.

In the prison, it turns out someone working there has been secretly exposing Havok to low doses of light energy, so he can recharge his powers and escape. As soon as someone comes to slide Havok’s meal under the door, he takes the opportunity to blast the wall into pieces, beat up the guards, and escape. Of course, he tracks down Polaris and the Starjammers, and they prepare an assault against Vulcan.

Over on a rebel planet, Lilandra’s group is suddenly attacked by Vulcan’s all new team of insane criminals. One of them appears to be a symbiote similar to Carnage and Venom, and another is apparently a female version of Gladiator. Their plan to capture Lilandra backfires when the crazed pyromaniac of the group flips out and uses her atomic powers to burn the entire planet. Luckily, our heroes and the rest of the band of criminals all escape.

It turns out Vulcan’s expansion of the Shi’ar Empire hasn’t gone unnoticed. Representatives from an intergalactic council have come to Vulcan’s court, informing him that he’s attacked planets allied with other empires, and that he has a lot of explaining to do. Again, having the foresight of a hormonal manchild, he uses his powers to kill all of the representatives, and tells the one he let live that he’s dissolving the council, and will kill anyone that challenges him. You know, because it’s such a good idea to incite a war against several other intergalactic sovereign governments when you don’t know how to run your own.

The art is decent, but overall unimpressive. It even seems to drop in quality toward the final few pages. The writing, however, is very solid. I think Chris Yost is a decent writer on his own, but I still hold a major grudge after he and Craig Kyle bastardized the New X-Men comic a while back. You know, I’m going to shut up before I go on a rant.

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UNCANNY X-MEN ANNUAL #2
Writer: Matt Fraction
Pencilers: Mitch Breitweiser & Daniel Acuna
Publisher: Marvel

Following an alien invasion by Skrulls, old Spider-Man foe Norman Osborn took credit for saving the world, and is now in control of the superhero community. Wanting to cement his control over the supervillain community as well, Osborn has assembled a secret group of morally ambiguous people of power. He’s called in scrub-turned-big shot The Hood, on-again/off-again antagonist Namor, big shot-turned-scrub Dr. Doom, and villainous whore-turned-whorish heroine Emma Frost.

One of the first things we’re shown in this issue is a flashback to the days when Sebastian Shaw, Selene, and Emma Frost had taken over the Hellfire Club. Shaw’s intention is to have the club controlled by mutants, but there are four seats of power in the club’s inner circle, and they need a fourth. That’s when they spot Namor: Prince of Atlantis, and human/Atlantean hybrid mutant. Namor thinks very little of Shaw, but is quite taken with Emma. However, Namor has no interest in the Hellfire Club, and rudely turns Shaw down. Shaw, infuriated, tells Emma (who is his subordinate) to find a way change Namor’s mind. Emma takes a yacht out to the ocean, telepathically tells Namor that she’s going to kill herself, and then throws herself into the ocean with a ball chained to her leg. The melodramatic ploy works, and she lures Namor out of the ocean. However, rather than convince Namor to join the Hellfire Club, Emma gets taken to his underwater palace where I can only assume they played a rousing game of Monopoly in Namor’s bed chambers. Afterward, Namor and Emma try to spend some time talking, but Namor’s palace is soon attacked by a team of sentinels that have detected two mutants in Atlantis. Emma tells Namor that things like the sentinels are exactly why he should aid mutants like herself. Namor destroys the sentinels, and assembles some scientists to discover where the hell they were sent from.

It turns out Shaw, with help from Donald Pierce, sent the sentinels to Atlantis out of anger. After a brief fight, between Shaw and Namor, Pierce surrounds Namor with sentinels and calls him off. Shaw makes it very clear that he couldn’t give half a damn what happens to the rest of the mutant race, as long as he continues to accumulate power. Selene then sneaks up on Emma Frost, gets into her mind, and causes her to forget the whole thing ever happened. Namor is allowed to remember, but is warned that he’ll never get within ten miles of Shaw ever again.

Cut to the present day, and Emma & Namor meet up again at Norman Osborn’s meeting. After the meeting, the two have a private rendezvous, where Emma reveals that she’s gained back all of her memories from the day Shaw attacked them with sentinels. Emma promises to give Namor Shaw’s head on a platter in exchange for some of Namor’s help. Emma gives Shaw a call, and lures him to the Hellfire Club’s old headquarters, where she pulls a sword out and chops his head off when he puts his guard down. She then puts the head on a platter, and shows it to an onlooking Namor. Satisfied with his and Emma’s revenge on Shaw, Namor agrees to protect the mutant community as he does the people of Atlantis, in exchange for Emma mentally protecting him at Osborn’s future meetings.

When Namor leaves, Emma reveals the head on a platter to really be a pumpkin, and Shaw is still alive and psychically incapacitated. Emma then calls up Cyclops, and tells him that she’s captured Shaw, and that he’s going to be spending a long time in the X-Men’s brig.

I have to say, I was impressed with this story. Not only did Fraction make a nonlinear story work, but he actually created a sympathetic character out of Emma during her White Queen days. After all, this was Emma during a time in which she was ready to torture teenage girls who didn’t join her school, and who accidentally created the Dark Phoenix when she tried to brainwash Jean Grey. However, we were shown that Emma was fairly submissive at first, and it took until recently for her to assert herself and finally show Sebastian Shaw who’s boss. There’s also been a significant change in the realm of the X-Men, as they now have a powerful ally in Prince Namor. One of the most noticeable things about this issue was the art. The two artists have drastically different styles, and it’s strange going from one to another with all of the intercut flashbacks. That said, neither is a horrible artist.

I do have one major complaint about this comic, and it’s the fact that it’s an “Annual.” The term “annual” implies the book is published yearly, but the Uncanny X-Men Annual #1 came out way back in 2006. Not quite annual, Marvel.